Finding Your Purpose with Confidence and Positivity

Today I want to discuss your mindset and building confidence, having a confident attitude. Having confidence and believing in yourself can take you very far in life, further than you could possibly imagine. Whatever your goal, being confident, keeping a clear and positive focus, and eliminating negativity can mean the difference between success and failure.  This is a basic and vitally important piece of the puzzle whenever you are seeking to make changes for the better. You have to believe in yourself and your ability to attain your objective.

Some people seem to be born with a confident attitude. For others, confidence is built over time through their attitudes and their past experience of themselves and their relationship to the world.  Now, by confidence, I don’t just mean the general “being confident around others,” but rather being confident of the fact that you and your life have purpose. If you maintain a positive attitude, live life to the fullest, and treat others with dignity and respect, you are already demonstrating both purpose and confidence.

So what can you do to develop a more confident and positive mindset?  One thing you can do is to make a list of all the things you are good at, whatever they might be, whether it’s cooking or playing an instrument. Write absolutely everything down no matter how small.  It all counts. Next, I want you to add any achievements you’ve managed to attain over the course of your life so far, even if it’s a simple certificate for winning a spelling bee when you were 5, or learning to ride a bike. Look over this list and feel proud because you should be!  Continue to add to this list over time, as you continue to achieve successes.

Other ways to develop confidence:

• Make an effort to look your best.  When you look your best, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people.  When you dress well and pay attention to your grooming, it affects how you feel about yourself.  Making an effort to look your best automatically gives you more confidence
• Speak Up.  Often we don’t speak up because we’re afraid that others will judge us for saying something stupid. Generally, people are much more accepting than that. Moreover, others are often dealing with the exact same fears. Make an effort to speak up in group situations.  You’ll develop more confidence in your ideas and improve your public speaking skills.
• Work out.   The many benefits of physical fitness are too numerous to go into at length here.  Bottom line:  being in shape gives you more confidence in yourself, your abilities, your energy, and improves your mood and mental capabilities.  It’s all good news.
• Focus on contribution. The more you contribute to the world the better you’ll feel about yourself. An added bonus is that contributions are often rewarded with more personal success and recognition.  These, in turn, increase your feelings of self-confidence.
• Posture.  The way you carry yourself tells the world how you feel about yourself.  Practicing good posture automatically helps you feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You’ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered

Building confidence and having a positive attitude is crucial when it comes to reaching goals. We all want abundance in life. Whether it’s with our families or at work, we all want to be successful. The secret key to unlocking your happiness and success is learning how to be more positive in every sense of the way.

The truth is that your happiness and success lie within your own hands. Always believe in yourself and your unique value. In the end, having self-confidence and a positive attitude are an inside job and that’s good news, because you’re in charge of what goes on in your mind and feelings.  So we’re back to mindset.  Henry Ford said: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.”  Wise words.

I would love to hear from you.  Please feel free to contact me at any time with questions or comments!

A Commitment to Yourself

I’ve had several conversations recently with friends, colleagues and acquaintances about what they consider their biggest challenges on a day-to-day basis.  It probably won’t come as a surprise that time – or the lack of it – is often right at the top of the list.  Whether it is time for their workouts, time to see friends, time to prepare healthy meals for their families, or even plain old down time, there doesn’t seem to be enough of it.  Between work and family responsibilities, it can feel difficult to find an island of time we can call our own.

Yet, we all have the same amount.   Everyone gets 24 hours, 7 days a week.  It’s how we consciously choose to spend those hours that makes the difference in our feeling centered and collected, or frazzled and overwhelmed. By the time we reach adulthood, everyone will have their fair share of responsibilities and commitments – to our families, work, friends and communities.  Perhaps we also invest time in a cause or activity we care about.  We likely take these commitments to heart, and take those responsibilities seriously.  But what about those commitments we make to ourselves.  Where do they fit in?  And why do they sometimes seem to come last?

A commitment to yourself is a commitment.  It is just as important as any other commitment you make.  If you decide to make getting in shape a priority and make a commitment to work out three times a week, that is, in essence, a promise you make to yourself.  You are declaring that your health and wellness are a priority, and are going to act on that.  If you make a commitment to someone you love you would, in all likelihood, make every effort to honor it.  Why wouldn’t you do that for yourself?   If you wouldn’t think of cancelling out on your best friend at the last minute, or just deciding not to show up because something else came up, aren’t you (and your well-being) at least as important?

When we follow through with commitments we make to others, it tells them that we value them and the relationship. When we keep our promises to ourselves, we are saying we respect and value ourselves. We have made taking care of ourselves a priority and are following through on that.  Here are some ideas of ways you might begin to fit time for well-being into your day:

• Get up a half-hour early and go for a two-mile run before starting your day.
• Take time for meditation.  Even 10-15 minutes a day can make an enormous difference in how you feel over time.
• Get to bed a half-hour early to unwind, read and relax before sleep
• For some, Sunday dinner with family, or a weekly dinner with friends, is essential for a feeling of connectedness.
• Sign up for a yoga class and make that a weekly ritual.

Whatever it is that nurtures our minds, bodies, and spirits – our sense of well-being – these are the things we need to make time for.  We need to make that time we have committed to ourselves just as important as any other commitment, and protect it. This also means that we may have to say no to other non-essential activities and requests.  Saying no to those non-essential requests means you are saying yes to yourself.   When we do this, when we make valuing and taking care of ourselves a priority, everything else in our life seems to just flow more easily.  We work better, we are more present for our families and others, we are happier and more creative.  We enjoy life more, as we are meant to.

Make sure to keep your promises to everyone in your life, and include yourself right up there at the top.  When you are at your best, it benefits everyone and everything around you, so keep those commitments you make to you.

Coach’s Action step:  At the beginning of your week, take out your calendar and block out time for you – it may be for your workouts for the week, or a block of time to clean out your closet, or another project you have been meaning to get around to.  Whatever you decide, that’s your commitment to you. Let me know how it goes!

I would love to hear from you.  Please feel free to contact me at any time with any questions or comments!