If you ever have examined your life closely, there are certainly at least a few things you would find that can be mentally and physically draining for you to deal with. Unfortunately, in our hurried day to day, we often overlook these things, deciding that we just have to put up with them due to lack of time or energy or whatever. Does this resonate with you? Then continue reading!
What are Tolerations?
Tolerations are conditions or situations in one’s life that are either irritating or taxing. Despite the negative impacts of these, we continue to put up with them. Often we may cling to such things because of a fear of letting them go, or maybe we tell ourselves “that’s just the way things are.”
Tolerations, however, will often worry and burden us over time, draining our energy mentally, physically or both.
Maybe you have an overly critical boss or family member. Someone in your social circle might be highly toxic. You may be continuing to tolerate something as large as serious financial issues or seemingly as minor as a broken window that needs fixing. These are all Tolerations – something that impacts you negatively but that you choose to put up with anyway.
Why is it necessary to get rid of Tolerations?
The problem with this is that, sooner or later, tolerations like these will begin to take a toll on you. The boss or family member becomes increasingly irritating or begins to take a toll on your self-esteem. You erupt at your toxic “friend” seemingly out of nowhere. Your financial problems pile up and you are forced into bankruptcy. You get the picture.
Tolerations that build up bring along with them an intense amount of negativity and can lead you to feeling irritable, anxious and even unworthy. That’s why it’s important to pay attention and do something about them before they are dictating your life. Continuing to ignore them can result in a feeling of powerlessness resulting in depression, anxiety and a general sense of overwhelm.
What can you do about them?
We can’t do anything about a problem until we first identify it.
So the first step in eliminating tolerations is recognizing what it is you are tolerating.
Sit down when you have a quiet half-hour or so and begin to list what it is that you are putting up with. Once you have that down you can begin to determine what needs to go. What is that habit, that single person, or condition that continually irritates you and drains your energy?
Often we already know what the issue is, but find it difficult to face. For instance, you may have a childhood friend who is no longer healthy for you. Maybe they are constantly in crisis and needing to borrow money and “forget” to pay you back. Maybe they needed someplace to stay for a few nights and it’s now three months later and there’s no sign that they will be moving on any time soon. You know this but memories and feelings of obligation come in the middle. The result is that you continue to feel angry or frustrated but do nothing.
Here is where you have to put your own well-being at the top of the list. Childhood friendships are wonderful but not at the cost of your health and happiness. There are times when we need to prioritize ourselves.
Something as seemingly minor as a cluttered desk or dining room table can become problematic when the clutter now prevents you from working efficiently or eating dinner. The more it piles up, the more it weighs on your psyche and the more overwhelmed you begin to feel. And the bigger it gets.
Here is where you need to get brutally honest with yourself. What about this toleration are you unwilling to deal with? If it’s that difficult friend or boss, you may need to sit down with them and set boundaries around what is and isn’t acceptable behavior. If you’re avoiding cleaning up those piles of paper, maybe you need to face your habit of procrastination and deal with it.
Not all problems can be dealt with at once. If you’re experiencing financial hardship because you’ve allowed yourself to get into debt, it’s going to take more than a few days to resolve. The important thing is to begin to face up to what’s draining your energy so that you can create a plan to deal with it. Some things can be dealt with in an hour, others may take longer, but what’s essential is to begin. Sometimes things resolve themselves. (Maybe that nasty boss gets moved to another department.)
Once you begin to remove those things you have been putting up with, you’ll be amazed at the energy you have for the things you do want in your life. You’re welcome.
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