Water – How Much Do You Really Need?

Do you ever wonder if you are drinking enough water? How much is enough? Is it possible to drink too much?

By now we all know that it’s important to stay hydrated to look and feel your best. Our bodies are made up of mostly water, about 60 percent for the average adult. Water isn’t a source of calories, protein or energy, but every cell in your body depends upon it to function. In addition, water lubricates your joints, is critical in regulating body temperature and helps rid the body of waste materials. Water also helps deliver oxygen throughout the body and acts as a shock absorber for your brain and spinal cord.

The largest organ in the human body is the skin. Water is essential to maintaining its moisture balance and delivering essential nutrients to skin cells. It replaces skin tissue and helps increase elasticity. This in turn promotes a healthier appearance and diminishes signs of aging.

Your body loses water throughout the day. If you are in a hot environment or participating in strenuous exercise, your rate of water loss can skyrocket. If it’s not replaced, not only can the total volume of body water fall, your blood volume can also drop. A decrease in circulating blood volume can lead to a drop in blood pressure and, if it falls enough, can be fatal.

How Much Is Enough?

So here’s the question: How much water do you actually need to drink in a day? Do you really have to carry around a huge container with you everywhere you go? And where did this idea come from that you have to drink a gallon of water a day to stay healthy?

Many of us grew up with the idea that you had to drink eight glasses of water a day, in addition to anything else you might drink like milk, juice or tea. Eight 8-ounce glasses is 64 ounces of water, or a half gallon. That’s a lot of fluid! And, as it turns out, there was never any scientific evidence for the eight glasses rule anyway!

In 2002, researcher Hans Valtin published a review questioning the eight glasses rule and two years later in 2002 the Institute of Medicine (IOM) published new recommendations upholding Valtin’s research. The new guidelines state that normal, healthy adults may use thirst as a gauge of how much water they need to drink, instead of taking in a prescribed amount. Imagine that! Modern medicine recommending that you listen to your own body to determine its needs.

Exceptions to this would be people who have a medical condition that affects their thirst mechanism (as seen in some stroke patients) or a condition that requires strict fluid control (such as kidney failure), athletes, or people living in extreme environments.

Water: The Total Picture

Remember that you get some water from food and also other beverages that contain water. The current recommendation for the total amount of fluid (from all sources) you should consume in a day is 91 ounces total for women (eleven cups) and 125 ounces (15 cups) for men. You can assume that about 20 percent of your water comes from food and the other 80 percent from water and other beverages so, accounting for that, women need about nine total cups of fluid a day and men need about twelve and a half total. The researchers at IOM did not publish an upper limit for the amount of daily fluid intake. There have been rare cases of a dangerous condition known as water intoxication from drinking too much.

In general, if you are a normal, healthy adult, you can listen to what your body needs but be sure to drink several glasses of pure water daily. While beverages such as tea, coffee and other drinks count toward daily fluid intake, there’s no substitute for fresh clean water. If you don’t think you are getting enough, try increasing your normal intake by a glass or two daily. In addition, adding water rich fruits and vegetables to your diet is a great way to add water.

There’s no downside to drinking enough pure water! The upside is increased energy, better performance, keeping your system healthy and free from toxins, glowing skin. Water can also help with weight loss. If you ever find yourself starving with a ways to go before meal time, try drinking a glass of water. It fills you up and can stave off those hunger pangs. Bottom line: Drinking water helps you feel and look your healthiest. Who wouldn’t want that?

I love to hear from you so please share any thoughts or comment below.

How To Get The Most Value From The Ten Tenets of Wellness

Over a few months we’ve looked at Dr. Michael Arloski’s seminal work, The Ten Tenets of Wellness. You can see in my previous intro article how he developed these concepts, and why his work is one of my favorite wellness resources.

In closing out this series on the Ten Tenets, I thought it would be useful to summarize what I learned over these last months as I delved into each tenet more deeply. If you haven’t already, I encourage you to go back to each individual article (linked below) one through ten, and really familiarize yourself with the wellness principles embodied in each one.

The First Tenet – Wellness is Holistic

Dr. Arloski frames the first tenet this way: “Wellness is a choice…a decision you make to move toward optimal health.” This means it’s our choice, your choice, not what someone else wants you to do or thinks you should be. The key here is recognizing that the concept of wellness itself has to be understood holistically.

You have to look at your whole self in considering a wellness program. Keep in mind that all human beings are composed of complex and totally interrelated systems. What you put in place in one area is absolutely going to have an effect, negative or positive, on every other system; mind, body, spirit, even your environment.

The Second Tenet – Self-Esteem Is Critical

What does self-esteem have to do with wellness? Simple. You have to care enough about yourself to want to make a change, and then be able to plan and successfully carry it out. In 1995, psychotherapist Dr. Nathaniel Branden, author of Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, took a close look at self-esteem and broke it down into six component parts or ‘practices’ which he defines as: the practice of living consciously, the practice of self-acceptance, the practice of self-assertiveness, the practice of living purposefully and the practice of personal integrity.

Thinking of healthy self-esteem, not as a solid, monolithic concept, but as a collection of individual strengths which can be cultivated, helps to bring the sometimes fuzzy notion of “increasing our self-esteem” into the realm of the possible for all of us.

The Third Tenet – Supportive Relationships Are a Must

When you are trying to make changes, especially in the wellness arena, who you surround yourself with is critically important. People are generally going to fall into one of two camps. They are either going to try to discourage you from following through on your goals and disparage your attempts, or they are going to be supportive and encouraging.

What you need now are people who won’t be threatened by your journey and who support your growth and development, not those who want to sabotage it. For some, this may mean finding a few friends who understand and can support you on your path. Family can be more of a challenge. I think just being quietly consistent in your efforts without trying to change their minds or challenge them is the best route to go.

The Fourth Tenet – Wake Up!

How many of us go through our lives on auto-pilot, never thinking about our choices, or their long term effects on our lives or health? Making the choice to wake up and live a conscious life can be one of the most important moments in your life and start you on your wellness journey.

As Dr. Arloski puts it, “Conscious living means becoming aware of all the choices we have and acting on them.” It’s when you start to live with intenton that you start to really live.

The Fifth Tenet – Connectedness Works

This tenet goes beyond human relationships and emphasizes loving and grounding relationships with other species; animals, plants and the earth itself. Not only are we alienated from each other even in our own communities, we are even further alienated from the natural world. Dr. Arloski writes that it’s not only our connectedness to other people, but to other species and the earth that truly ‘grounds’ us in our lives and lets us discover at a deep level that we truly are ‘all of one heart.’

Being able to really identify with where we live, knowing local foliage, the animals, the weather patterns of our region; these are all supremely important for reconnecting with the earth, our home. When you re-establish your connection to the earth, you’ll likely find you’ve re-established a sense of profound beauty, peace and harmony that is to be found nowhere else.

The Sixth Tenet – YOU Are Responsible

The idea of assuming responsibility for your life, which includes your health, is not a new idea. Everyone from the ancient Stoics, to the Dalai Lama advocates the concept that everything in our lives is, in some way, the product of our own decisions. Your sense of wellbeing is no exception. Many things in our complicated, often chaotic world are out of our control. Our decisions, though, are ours and ours alone. You get to choose how you will live.

The Seventh Tenet – From Self-Sufficiency Comes Confidence

Michael Arloski’s Seventh Tenet tells us that when we cultivate increased self-sufficiency we gain confidence and power that overshadow fears.

He points out that choosing to cultivate life skills, such as learning to grow some of your own food, baking bread from scratch, going hiking into a wilderness area or even learning to do mechanical tasks like changing the oil in your car or fixing a flat tire on your bike…that mastering these or similar skills, will give you confidence and power that translates over other areas of your life.

The Eighth Tenet – Solo Time Is Essential

Some time alone, especially in nature, is essential for really getting to know who you are and where you are going. But what is it about solitude in nature that would let us look more deeply into ourselves than solitude spent indoors or in a city environment? There is ample scientific evidence that being in nature is good for you, both physically and mentally. Richard Louv, a journalist and author who coined the term ‘nature-deficit disorder,’ puts it this way: “The future will belong to the nature-smart—those individuals, families, businesses, and political leaders who develop a deeper understanding of the transformative power of the natural world and who balance the virtual with the real. The more high-tech we become, the more nature we need.”

The Ninth Tenet – Perfectionism Is Not Required

There are good sides and bad sides to perfectionism. All of us want our work and most other things we do to be the best it can be. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having high standards. But constantly striving for perfection, in any endeavor, is a set-up for failure. Perfection in anything you do is nearly impossible to obtain. So, when you attempt something and don’t get ‘perfect’ results or do it “100 percent,” you have no choice but to see those results as a failure, no matter the outcome.

Change your mindset when it comes to so-called “failure” or mistakes. Some of our best opportunities and learning come from what we might first view as failure. If you look it as an opportunity to learn and grow, it only becomes a detour on your road to success.

The Tenth Tenet – Go Play!

You may be asking yourself, as an adult, what does play mean? Actually, the definition of play is the same whether you are nine or ninety: play is an activity that you do for enjoyment and for recreation, rather than for a serious or practical purpose. So it’s not really the activity that defines play but why you are doing it.

Ask yourself this: When was the last time you really played? If you’re like a lot of adults, you may be waiting for someone to give you ‘permission’ to lighten up or a time when you are “not so busy.” The truth is that you are the only one who can give yourself that permission. Even when you are working, you can make a conscious effort to bring humor and fun into the mix.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this series on the Ten Tenets of Wellness and that you take this wisdom to heart and begin to incorporate some of these ideas into your own life!

And – I love to hear from you so please share your thoughts or comment below.

Go Play! -The Tenth Tenet

WTen Tenets of Wellness.  We’ve looked at these powerful guidelines to living a life full of meaning and one in which physical health is important, and also part of a greater whole.

This is the last of the tenets, Go Play!   Here’s a question: When was the last time you really played? If you are like most adults, you may be waiting for someone to give you ‘permission’ to lighten up or some time in the future when you aren’t so busy.

But guess what? That permission comes from within you.  You can even make a conscious effort (Tenet No. Four) to bring humor and playfulness to work with you.

As an adult you may be wondering, what does play mean?  The definition of play is the same, whether you are nine or ninety: play is an activity that you do for enjoyment and recreation, rather than for a serious or practical purpose. So it’s not really the activity itself that defines play but why you are doing it.

Dr. Stuart Brown, a clinically trained psychiatrist, heads up the National Institute of Play. In a 2014 interview with National Public Radio he explains “Play is something done for its own sake,” he explains. “It’s voluntary, it’s pleasurable, it offers a sense of engagement, it takes you out of time. And the act itself is more important than the outcome.”

For adults, play is a very individual thing. For some people, play could be stamp collecting or reading books and for others, it could mean biking, hiking or boating. A 2017 study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences underscores that not all adults play alike and classifies adults who are playful into distinct four types.

These playful adult types are Other-directed, Lighthearted, Intellectual or Whimsical. Other-directed people are those who like to hang out with friends, family and colleagues. Lighthearted adults are those who don’t think much about the future consequences of their play. Intellectual adults are those who like to play with ideas and thoughts, and Whimsical adults are those who are interested in strange or unusual things and also get enjoyment from everyday observations.

Play can be part of ‘serious business’ as well. Google, the giant of the search engine world, has long recognized play as an adjunct to helping its employees be more innovative, and to foster team building and cooperation. They were one of the first big companies to set up ‘play stations’ and scatter them around their campus, featuring ping pong and foosball tables as well as billiards.

So how can you incorporate more play into your life? One way is to think of activities you enjoyed as a child, then find ways to bring a version of that back into your adult life.

Another way is to schedule lessons in something you think you’d enjoy learning, such as fencing or horseback riding. Or schedule a date with a friend to explore a new city or a museum.

The important thing is not what you do, but that you do it for fun. Now go out and play!

And if you want to share your thoughts on how you play, leave a comment below. I’d love to hear!

Make the most of January!

Surviving A Holiday Setback – Five Positive Psychology Practices to Make Your Holidays Merry and Bright

Somehow it doesn’t seem possible that the holidays are here and we are once again approaching the end of the year. (Seems like I say this every year!) For many of us, the holidays are a time of family gatherings, shopping, parties and more. Everywhere you turn, from magazines to social media to movies to malls, the images seem airbrushed and arranged to make it seem like everyone is enjoying a perfect holiday experience.

But that’s not necessarily so for everyone. Perhaps you’ve experienced a recent setback in your life. This might range from something as major as having experienced a death in your family, or experiencing a financial downturn, to grieving the loss of a pet, to feeling overwhelmed with everything you have to get done. Whatever the case, you are just not feeling it!

Even if you haven’t experienced a setback, getting through the holidays can often bring family or financial tensions to the surface, making things feel not so merry. So – What are your choices if you are faced with a difficult time in your life or situation to deal with?

The most obvious might be to just give in to whatever it is and skip the celebrating this year. And that’s ok to do, it really is. Just be aware that if you choose this route, this time of year along with those inescapable holiday images and sounds, may amplify your feelings of sadness or isolation or whatever negative emotion you are feeling. It can be hard to keep painful feelings from getting to you this time of year if you’re going through a difficult time, but there are things you can do to keep yourself from spiraling down further and maybe even finding some joy here and there.

Here’s where some of the rich gifts of positive psychology can make all the difference in your experience this time of year. Positive psychology principles won’t make everything magically disappear, but giving yourself the gift of acting on some or all of the following five holiday positive psychology practices can make a huge difference in how you experience the season:

One – Practice Self-compassion
The first thing to do is to stop beating yourself up for how you’re feeling and show some self-compassion. What is self-compassion? While self-esteem is rooted in how you think about yourself, self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness and understanding when you make mistakes, are under stress or are not feeling like you think you ‘should’ be feeling during the holidays.

Treat yourself with the same understanding you would extend to a loved one or good friend if they were in the same spot. Most of us are much, much too harsh on ourselves and would never subject our loved ones to the type of inner dialog we regularly direct at ourselves when we are going through a tough time. As human beings, we are not supposed to be perfect.  Further, it is through mistakes that we learn and grow.

Two – Be Grateful for the Good
Even in the midst of the most difficult circumstances, you can choose to see the good. One of the best ways to do this is to practice gratitude. You can keep a gratitude journal or simply go over the things for which you are grateful in your mind.

These do not have to be big things!   The positive effect on your mood does not depend on how big or small something is. Savoring and feeling grateful for that warm, first cup of coffee or bringing to mind a cherished friendship can do wonders for how you’re feeling.

Three – Make Room to Feel
Part of self-compassion is giving yourself permission to feel whatever you are feeling at the moment.  But instead of wallowing in your emotions when pain comes up, try approaching this mindfully.

Accept your feelings of sadness or loss, as hard as this can be in the moment, just sit with it. Accept that this is really, really hard right now, at this moment. You’ll likely find that as you sit with your painful emotions, they will shift. Painful feelings don’t go away if we ignore them. The more we are able to face and accept what’s going on, the more likely we are to move through the feelings sooner.

Four – Create Meaningful Memories
Even if you are operating on a tight budget this year, you can still create meaningful memories. Why not make some homemade gifts for loved ones or friends or offer to organize a holiday potluck?

Window shopping costs nothing and sometimes going out with the realization that you are simply not going to purchase anything (except maybe a peppermint hot chocolate!) can bring you a sense of immense freedom while allowing you to participate in the holiday mood.

Five – Give Away Some Happiness
As humans, we are happiest when we can participate in making someone else happy. Making someone feel special costs absolutely nothing but your time. Delivering a basket of homemade treats to a struggling single mom, or an elderly neighbor, and taking a few minutes to sit down and talk with them can be a priceless experience. And you’ll benefit from the good feelings of knowing you made a difference

If you are under the spell of a holiday setback this season, please accept the gift of these five positive psychology precepts. Absorbing and applying their lessons might turn out to be the best gift you can give yourself.

I love to hear from you, so leave a comment below and I’ll be sure to answer.

With warmest wishes for the best of the season,

Perfectionism Is Not Required -The Ninth Tenet

Constantly striving for perfection, in any endeavor, is a set-up for failure. First, perfection in anything you do is nearly impossible to obtain. So, when you attempt something and you don’t get ‘perfect’ results or do it “100 percent,” you have no choice but to see those results as a failure, no matter the outcome.

There are good sides and bad sides to perfectionism.  All of us want our work and most other things we do to be the best it can be. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having high standards. In some professions such as pro sports, medicine and science, perfectionism is encouraged.  No one wants their surgeon to perform a “just ok” appendectomy.

But here’s the downside.  Holding yourself to an impossibly high standard, always demanding perfection and never allowing for mistakes, doesn’t serve you and is going to practically guarantee your unhappiness. This is nowhere more evident than when you begin a wellness program.

Many people are tempted to adopt an all or nothing attitude when they begin a wellness program. That is often a recipe for disaster, as the first time they succumb to a tempting treat, they throw up their hands and their nutritional plan is out the window. Or maybe they don’t exercise one day, so they just give up and stop exercising altogether. They didn’t “do it perfectly,” so now it’s totally out the window.  Maybe this has even happened to you in the past.  As a somewhat “recovering perfectionist,” I know it’s happened to me!

If you recognize this perfectionistic trait in yourself, how do you overcome it?

The first thing to do is recognize that this trait was instilled in you at an early age by what Transactional Analysis (TA) recognizes as a Parental authority figure. This figure is often your actual parent or parents, but could also have been another significant authority figure in your life – a teacher, Scout leader, religious figure or other important adult. As children, we want so badly to please these authority figures that this Parental voice is instilled into our heads.  Even if your parents or other authority figures are long gone or are no longer a major influence, their ‘parental voice’ can still speak to you.  So, if you can’t always be perfect (no one can!) you end up feeling like a failure, fall into all or nothing thinking, and are haunted by a sense of never being “good enough.”

In coaching, we call this voice the “inner critic.”

If this sounds familiar, do you need full-fledged therapy to get you on the right track and out of your perfectionist trap? Probably not. Working with a good coach, especially one trained in positive psychology coaching with a good understanding of the inner critic, can help you set realistic goals and a plan to reach them, imperfections, detours and mistakes included.  And we all have them!

Change your mindset when it comes to so-called “failure” or mistakes.  Some of our best opportunities and learning come from what we might first view as a failure.  If you look it as an opportunity to learn and grow, it only becomes a detour on your road to success.  It’s a result of what you have done at this time. It’s not who you are!  Maybe you will decide to do it differently next time and that will be the key.

I like this quote from Dr. Brene Brown which is good advice for all of us:

“You’re imperfect and you’re wired for struggle but you are worthy of love and belonging.”  

You are good enough.

Solo Time Is Essential – Tenet 8 – and Thanksgiving Wishes!

In several of the Ten Tenets, Michael Arloski mentions the importance of reconnecting to the natural world. In number eight, he talks about how spending time alone is important.  He also says that being alone with yourself, especially in nature, is essential for really getting to know who you are and where you are going.

Let’s take a closer look at why that would be true.  In the hyper-connected world we live in, alone time has, for some, become not only un-obtainable, but nearly unthinkable. A 2014 study at the University of Virginia published in Science found that when participants were given the choice of being alone with their thoughts or subjecting themselves to electric shocks, a full two-thirds of the men and a quarter of the women chose to shock themselves instead!

Times of solitude aren’t for everyone. Dr. Kenneth Rubin, a developmental psychologist at the University of Maryland, explains that for solitude to be useful, certain preconditions have to be satisfied. The period of solitude has to be voluntary, you have to be able to regulate your own emotions, you have to be free to break the solitude and rejoin a social group whenever you want, and you have to be able to maintain positive relationships in a general sense.  Basically, you must be a stable, mature person who already has solid social connections.

It’s likely you are a stable, mature person and can see the benefits an occasional period of solitude might offer.  What is it specifically about solitude in nature that allows us look more deeply into ourselves than alone time spent indoors or in a city environment?

There is ample evidence that being in nature is good for us, both physically and mentally. The Japanese people have a delightful term they use for spending time in the woods. They call it shinrin-yoku or ‘forest bathing’ and a 2010 study published in Environmental Health and Preventative Medicine backs up the benefits of this practice – lowered blood pressure, and lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol in people who walked in the forest contrasted to those who walked in a city environment.

Richard Louv, a journalist and author of nine books who coined the term ‘nature-deficit disorder,’ is on a personal quest to bring the power of nature back into our daily lives and the lives of our children. As he puts it, “The future will belong to the nature-smart—those individuals, families, businesses, and political leaders who develop a deeper understanding of the transformative power of the natural world and who balance the virtual with the real. The more high-tech we become, the more nature we need.”

Native Americans over the centuries embarked on a journey of solitude in nature called a Vision Quest in order to reveal the nature of their life’s purpose.  Most of us aren’t going to be doing that any time soon, but we can still reap the benefits of quiet time in nature.  A morning walk in a quiet park, a hike on a nearby trail, even a solitary tour through your local botanical gardens can be restorative.   When I lived in south Florida, one of my favorite places to spend time was Fairchild Tropical Gardens, a dazzling collection of tropical and sub-tropical plants, trees, tropical fruit, orchids and other flowers.  Living in Colorado, I’m fortunate to have access to many beautiful forest trails.  There’s always a way to spend time in nature and I find it increasingly important as the pace of life seems to continue to pick up speed.

Ask yourself how can you add some alone time in nature to your routine. You will be repaid many times over.



As we come into this time of Thanksgiving, I always like to let you know how much I appreciate all of you – those of you who read my articles, comment on and share them, my clients, and those I have met throughout my coaching journey.   It means so much to me that you take time out of your busy lives to read my words and share your thoughts, and for that I am truly grateful.

Enjoy this time of Thanksgiving with family and friends!