Work. Family. Balance. Really?

If ever there’s a hot topic among women these days, it’s this one.   How do you manage a family, a career or business, and make it all work so that both run smoothly and neither suffers.  Most women I know have either done it or are doing it.  Almost all have at one time or another felt the pull of trying to juggle their various hats along with feelings of just not quite getting it done.   It’s strategic life planning for the modern woman.

There’s no shortage of articles and advice on how to best manage your day with a career and family (trust me, I just Googled them) so I’m not going to add to the list.  What I will do, though, is offer some of the ideas that have worked for me over the years, and that I have culled from others who seem to have achieved a semblance of sanity in the midst of it all.

I didn’t work at all the first few years of my son’s life and then part-time after that.  During those especially important younger years, I made it my business to arrange my schedule around him.  I was fortunate to have work that enabled me to work both virtually and in-office, and still be there to attend school events, and pick him up after school.   Of course, once he hit middle school, I also had to be prepared to drive him around to whatever else was going on!  As children grow, how and when we need to be there changes.  And how much help and support we have at home makes a difference, too.

The bottom line for me has been family as my priority, and I think that knowledge helped me craft the rest of my life.  Even with Matthew off to college now, he’s still my priority, just in a different way.

So, from my own experience and the wisdom of others, here are my best ideas on how to do that (imperfect!) balancing act:

  • Decide for yourself what your priorities need to be based on where you are in your life, and your family’s needs. Priorities will change as your family grows, so what is reasonable for you to take on will also change.
  • Know that wherever you currently are in parenting is a stage that will pass. There will be a time when you can actually take your eyes off of her for more than 30 seconds.  And just when you think you cannot possibly watch one more episode of “Dora, the Explorer,” your child will announce she’s over it.  Most likely, you will never, ever watch it again.
  • If you want to resume your current profession or business sooner than later, you’ll need to ask yourself the hard questions. What is most important at this time in your family’s life?  What is realistic to expect based on your family vs. work needs?   What can you reasonably manage?   What kind of support will you need?   What is the cost vs. benefit?  The answers to these questions will provide your direction.
  • Don’t under-estimate the importance of role models – those women who have come before you, as well as your peers.  Raising a family and maintaining a career or business can be extremely challenging. Who are the women you admire for creating a healthy familyI and work life?  This could be someone in the public eye, or someone in your community.  What is it about them that inspires you? What characteristics do they share?  How do they structure their time?    Most importantly, what can you learn from them to integrate into your own life to create something that works for you and your household?
  • Self-care. I’m a firm believer in taking care of yourself.  It’s hard to be at your best if you’re not getting enough sleep, exercise, or your nutrition is poor.  Your mood and performance will suffer and your effectiveness will decrease.  Taking care of yourself is basic, it’s part of having a strong personal foundation.  If you find yourself constantly tired, low on energy or irritable, pay attention.  Your body and mind may be trying to tell you something.  Something as simple as a half-hour with a good book can be just what you need to recharge when you find yourself running on empty.  Taking care of yourself pays off for you, your family and your business.
  • Organization is key.  I can’t emphasize the importance of this enough.  Having a written plan for each day, knowing what must be done and what can wait, keeping deadlines and events up-to-date on your calendar, keeping your work area organized, having – and using! – systems.  All of these are indispensable if you want to carry on your business and home life with a sense of order.  Being organized is a preventative strategy that will serve you to no end.
  • Learn to say no. I know of few working moms, myself included, who haven’t struggled with this

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If you are continually withdrawing funds from your bank account, you will eventually have nothing left.  You have to make deposits.  Taking care of yourself is the same.  If you are continually depleting your resources  they will eventually be exhausted.  Taking care of yourself isn’t a luxury. It’s a necessary fact of life that will enable you to be your best self for the people and life you love.

Have a beautiful Valentine’s Day!

Suzanne xo

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