For the last couple months I have been hearing about this book, The Let Them Theory, by Mel Robbins. I really didn’t pay that much attention one way or the other until I started hearing it come up in conversations. A friend or two mentioned it, then some of my coaching clients mentioned it, and then some coaches I knew were talking about it. At this point, I started to think maybe it warranted a little more investigation. I knew of Mel Robins and had listened to one of her workshops, and thought she made good practical sense. The bottom line was that I finally caved and bought the audio book.
In The Let Them Theory audiobook (read by the author) Mel Robbins delivers a powerful, no-nonsense message to anyone exhausted by trying to control what others think, say, or do. With her blend of straight talk and empathy, Robbins explores a simple but transformative mindset: when people act in ways that disappoint, frustrate, or confuse you—just let them.
The concept isn’t about giving up or being indifferent. It’s about reclaiming your energy and peace of mind by refusing to micromanage the behavior of others. Robbins emphasizes that trying to force people to behave the way we think they should is not only futile—it’s draining. When you “let them,” you allow people to reveal who they are, and in turn, you gain clarity about how to move forward in your own life.
The book is packed with examples—from relationships and family dynamics to workplace drama and social pressure—that show how trying to please or control others can cause us to betray ourselves. (I sure could have used this in high school…) Robbins’s advice is refreshing in its simplicity: if someone doesn’t invite you, include you, respect you, or understand you… let them. That choice isn’t passive—it frees you.
Robbins offers practical tools to help readers detach from anxiety, overthinking, and people-pleasing. Her voice is firm but kind, encouraging us to shift our focus from managing others to honoring our own boundaries, values, and emotional well-being.
One of the greatest strengths of The Let Them Theory is its applicability. This isn’t a dense self-help manual—it’s a mindset shift that readers can begin practicing right away. While it may not dive deep into psychology, it doesn’t need to. Robbins’s style makes what feels like difficult emotional work feel doable, something you can start acting on today.
It’s not about giving up. Actually it’s the opposite – it’s about choosing peace over control. It’s about letting go of the need for others to approve of you or even like you. It’s a way to let others be who they are and allowing yourself to not get tied up in knots about others’ behavior. My assessment: I liked it. A lot.
Speaking of letting, I am letting myself take a month off from this newsletter to enjoy some vacation and family time. Have a great August and I will see you after Labor Day!